Hello again! And, goodbye.

This will be the last post on this blog, and then I’ll be walking away from it, as well as all my social media accounts. If you think the site might help anyone trying to research (what I recently found out was) what they’re now calling the first “nonbinary confirmation surgery,” or “bigenital surgery,” ever performed, then do continue to spread the link to those who have a personal interest in the procedure.

I only wish there was a way folks could contact me now, as I’d love to hear of any IRL educational opportunities I could be of help with. I strive to educate folks about my experience, but I realize now, I need to keep myself safe when doing so.

You’ve all been a delight to know, and I hope my little site and I were able to be of some help. [bows, sincerely] Thank you for sharing this time with me. I wish all of you the very best. ❤

Hi there, I was reccomend to look through your blog by someone after having a conversation about me wishing for pretty much the exact opposite of what you’ve had done. Judging by your pictures I would probably need my scrotum reduced in size to fit a full set of vulva. I’m guessing you would have some resources on the subject? All I’ve been able to find is “Some providers have recently begun offering this procedure.” Without anywhere else to go from there.

Hey, Anon. I seriously do apologize for making you wait since February for such a lackluster answer: I honestly have no idea.

Believe me, it wasn’t for lack of trying. Night after night since I got your comment, I stared at the blank answer screen before me, wondering how I might find out this info myself. I did something I’ve never done before, not in all the years I’ve been running this blog, whether on Tumblr or here on its own site:

I Googled “phalloplasty info site.”

And… I have no words.

Other than THERE’S SO MANY NOW!!!

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t want to be That Guy and be all “Oh, I did it before it was cool” about any of this, but. Please understand. When I set up ‘chinchilla-meat’ over on Tumblr in 2015, there was nothing in the landscape of the Internet about getting a phalloplasty with no vaginectomy. Nada. ZERO.

Now, I’m not only one of several sites for this particular hookup, there’s one person who’s done entire Reddit Ask Me Anything threads about the procedure! Who has FAQs set up on their site and everything! Why didn’t I ever think of that?! That’s GENIUS!

There’s a FACEBOOK GROUP for folks who’ve either had, or want, a phalloplasty with no vaginectomy! There’s thousands of us out there, now!

Some people are having the same procedure done that I had– y’know, the one that had me carrying around my pee in a bag for years?– with no complications.

The technology is improving, more surgeons are offering the procedure– there is no way I can keep on top of it all, balancing going back to college at age 40 to finish my mortician degree vs. keeping up with each new surgery innovation.

All I can say is, there was no data on how my surgery was going to turn out. I was apparently the first to try it. And that was only five years ago.

I say this with no sarcasm whatsoever, pure sincerity here: I CANNOT WAIT to see how obsolete my information is going to seem, five years from now.

I don’t know when I’ll update this blog next, to be honest. I’ll definitely keep it up, and if there are more questions folks have, I’ll be sure to answer them. But from here on out, there are enough voices speaking up about this procedure that I don’t know if folks need to hear mine anymore. My knowledge has barely changed since 2015.

So I’ll say it again, Anon: I’m sorry I don’t have an answer for you. You are speaking to the Wright Brothers, while there are spaceships launching to the stars.

I do hope you won’t have long to wait.

But, yes. My goal in running this info site was to raise awareness that this procedure existed, and I can see now, that very thing has happened. I’m excited beyond words to see where things go from here.

Heart hands, everybody. Thanks for letting me share, all this time. ❤

4th Dongaversary Post!

It’s that time of year again! That day when, three years ago, I bought a smash cake for Spot to celebrate his first birthday, filmed myself beating up said cake with my dong, and put it up on this very info blog.

(When job interviewers ask, “How would you describe yourself?” it is very difficult not to mention this.)

But! Today is Spot’s fourth dickaversary! And to celebrate THIS year, I’ve got a giant info dump prepared, as far as what I’ve been up to lately phallo-wise. (I don’t have another cake prepared. One can only accomplish so many feats in life.)

So, what’ve Spot and I been up to lately?

For one thing, I had my yearly visit to the urologist just a couple weeks ago, and I’m happy to say, Spot came back with a glowing bill of health all around.


The drippiness issues that had been annoying me since my second urethroplasty have entirely cleared up, making the adult diapers I’d gotten into the habit of wearing– which I hadn’t mentioned here because they weren’t *necessary,* per se, but when the occasional accident happened, being prepared was nice– something I no longer feel any need to wear. Back to boxer briefs, at last! Woot! 😀

My urologist did chime in with her approval about one thing: the medic alert bracelet I’ve worn on my right wrist for the past year and a half, which I *also* didn’t mention here yet, so! It’s storytime.

Picture it. It’s 2017. Scar tissue has closed up my new urethra for a second time, so I’m in the emergency room. All I know is, it is agonizingly painful to try to pee.

Someone comes into my ER room. “I need to insert a catheter,” he tells me.

I shy back. “Okay, so. Hang on a sec. I’ve had a phalloplasty, so, have you ever–”

His response: “What’s a phalloplasty?”

I demanded that he please step away from my dong.

He protested, saying it was just a simple catheter, nobody likes doing this– and again, I refused, until I could talk to a doctor who’d had experience with phalloplasty phalluses before.

Nobody on site had, it turned out. The ER docs put in a suprapubic catheter based on my demands, then scheduled me to see Dr. Elliott at the University of Minnesota as soon as possible.

I hadn’t told that story because I thought I’d been making a big deal out of nothing, but when I told my urologist about it, she said I had absolutely done the right thing. Putting a catheter into a phalloplasty *can* be done, but she said it should only be attempted by a qualified urologist.

She said further that the medic alert bracelet I’ve been wearing since that incident, given to me as a holiday gift by my mother– “SUPRAPUBIC CATHETER ONLY”– wasn’t necessary for someone who’s had phalloplasty to wear, but that it was definitely a good idea.20190514_120218.jpg

So. Something to keep in the ol’ inventory, if anyone reading this blog is a worrywart like me.

The other thing I’ve done, just in the past few days, was to finally visit a lymphadema specialist again.

I don’t know if it’s shown up in any photos I’ve posted here, but my left hand– the side my forearm skin graft was taken from– has stayed swollen considerably, and this fact is 100% entirely my fault. I had massage, wrapping, and exercise treatment for the lymphadema in that hand for about a year after my phalloplasty, then both stopped doing the recommended exercises *and* wearing my lymphadema sleeve and glove soon after getting the range of motion back in my wrist. My bad, yo.

My excuse was, the only way having a bigger hand on one side affected my life was, I have to buy two pairs of gloves in the winter. But my partner recently made it clear: he thinks my swollen hand looks off-putting, and he wanted me to at least *check* with a lymphadema specialist to see if anything could be done to reduce the swelling. Fair enough, I thought.

My new lymphadema specialist (or “CLT”, as they’re credited after their name) thoroughly examined the affected area, putting measuring tape around all up and down and around my arm and hand, and said she had good news!


Apparently, my hand is at what she called “Stage One Plus,” which is where the skin is still spongy and bounces back when pressed down upon. This is the best stage to be diagnosed with when you have lymphadema, because it means, yes, lymphatic fluid is trapped in my hand, but it can still be manipulated and eased out with regular massage therapy, which I’ll be doing daily now, as well as getting back to regularly wearing my lymphadema sleeve and glove (which still fit me, yay!).

So for the near future, expect updates about how to manage mild lymphadema in your hand if you used a forearm graft for phalloplasty, ’cause those will be coming down the pipeline soon.

In parting, I wanted to mention: Spot’s namesake has actually healed! That dark, discolored spot of dead tissue that gave Spot his nickname? Isn’t there anymore! The skin is all the same color by now, four years in.


He’ll still always be Spot in my heart. I just thought it was interesting. :3

Until next time, y’all!

Hey, all! Been super busy with non-Spot-related stuff so far this year. Hope you’ve been doing well. :3

I had to post today, though, because it occurred to me– I never posted the Cracked.com article I was interviewed for, about a year and a half ago! Consider that oversight corrected.

Feel free to slam your eyeballs against this, if you feel like it: https://www.cracked.com/personal-experiences-2438-the-perilous-journey-turning-my-hoo-hah-into-dingaling.html

Last ask of 2018!

Happy holiday season, everyone! Spot hopes you’ve been having a good one.


I’ve still got a little bit of time before the ball drops on 2018, though, so let’s answer an ask I received over the holidaze, shall we? Let’s shall.

R asks:

I really hope that this isn’t to personal or over the line but as I would like to have a surgery like yours one day, I was wondering if your vagina still works. As in can it be penetrated during sex and does it still get “wet”. Again I am so sorry if this is to personal or if this crosses a line.

No worries at all, R! Especially if I’m helping somebody with the info, my experiences are one big open book. :3

And the answer is, it can certainly still be penetrated, just the same as before– the only major difference going on down there is that my outer and inner labia are all gone, used as material to build the extension for my new urethra. My Warp Zone, as I call it, still acts like it always did, self-lubrication when aroused and all. Though it’s worth noting, no more labia means there is suddenly nothing standing in the way anymore around the opening. I was used to having quite thick labia before, so it was a bit of a surprise when my partner and I tried penetrative vaginal sex for the first time, several months after the phalloplasty, and there was suddenly no pause between “your dick is outside my body” and “oh, it’s already in.”

On a related note, you’ve got good timing! I was just rounding out 2018 with an end-of-the-year shave, because I was curious what that area looks like nowadays without any hair. Fresh after a shower– take a look!

vagina is where

Hope this helps illustrate things a bit better, R! Best wishes! :3

I have a question. Where does your penis go when you where underwear?

Since Spot stays flaccid, he’s pretty bendy when it comes to fitting in underwear. He ended up being significantly bigger than I was anticipating, though– I used to pack with a 3 ½ inch packer, so when 5-inch Spot came home with me, I had to replace all my boxer briefs with boxers. Otherwise, Spot was constantly poking out through the leg holes, haha. X3

Genders that aren’t male or female have existed since humans have existed. NB people exist and have for a very, very long time. Don’t let that gross anon get you down. Seeing your transition has helped me figure out how I identify and how I want to be seen, not to mention the body that I want. The opinions of transphobes don’t matter and will never hold a candle to the voices of people you’ve helped. -your friendly neighborhood trans-masc peep

Thank you. So much. I am holding this message close to my heart like a candle-flame right now. My biggest heart hands to you.

Do you think it would be possible to get junk like yours without the urethral lengthening? I read somewhere that doing that can cause complications.

Hm. I have to admit, Anon, this would be a question I’m not sure I’m qualified to give a simple “yes” or “no” to. Scheduling an in-person consultation with a surgeon who has experience with phalloplasty would be your best bet, as far as them being able to tell you what kind of complication rates they’ve had, or if they have experience with that particular combination at all.

I know that when I had my consultation with Dr. Crane in 2014, having phalloplasty with no urethral lengthening was mentioned as an option that *could* be done (just like keeping the clitoris unburied/underneath the base of the phallus was an option), but as it wasn’t something I was interested in, I didn’t pursue it further.

Wish I could be of more help with this question, but I wish you the best of luck on your journey!

Based on how you describe your dysphoria(Ex. How other people see you in public) and the fact that you lied to/got your doctor to lie so that you could get phallo but don’t have any plans to transition any more, kept the “original parts”, talk about getting pregnant like it’s nothing, etc., I’m fairly confident that you just have body dysmorphia and you’re taking advantage of a system that’s not for you. Also, there’s no scientific/medical evidence for “nonbinary,” only against.

Gosh, but I sure love coming back from a social media break to have yet another anon try to inform me that, um, ACTUALLY, I’m doing this “trans” thing all wrong, and I really should’ve just stayed in bed and kept feeling miserable these past few years. Just… [chef kiss] Love it.

Sorry to break it to y’all, but… people like me exist under this great big trans umbrella, too. I’ve met a fair number of folks like me, or those who want to be such, through this very blog. Just because we’re not playing by the exact set of rules *you’re* choosing to take as gospel, that doesn’t mean we’re broken, or misguided, or trying to muscle our way into somewhere we’re not supposed to go.

Have just a *speck* of faith in me when I say that this is how I needed my body to be to reflect who I was on the inside, and that I’m not some pathological liar trying to game the system, okay? My body may not look how you figure it should. But it’s mine, it’s perfect, and I wouldn’t have things any other way, thank you very kindly.

[shakes head] I don’t understand what so many people have against the idea of somebody achieving happiness in their own skin, if that happiness doesn’t fit cleanly within a male/female binary. I really don’t.