Day 113.

Sorry for not having many updates since my last trip to San Francisco. I *could* upload the video of me trying to piss through a stricture (with accompanying groans of pain) if anybody’d be interested, but lately, I’ve just been waiting on a surgery date for a urethral reconstruction, seeing how my original urethra’s a tad choked up by scar tissue right now.

About once a day, my penis will gush a mystery fluid that’s probably some kind of urine. I don’t even know what’s in the fluid, nor do I question it anymore. I’ve been referring to my mindset lately as “Cronenberg Zen.”

Oh, and if anybody’s wondering? I still stand behind this surgery 100%. I have been *happy,* no matter how messed-up it may be to have to carry a catheter bag everywhere (inside my stylish messenger bag from BlueRobotto of Etsy.com). Before, where every “ma’am” would be like a screwdriver jabbed in my heart, now, I’m able to shrug these comments off with a simple “they just don’t know what I *really* am.” Having fleshy proof of same is something I’d never want to give up, no matter how many problems it might be giving me in particular.

Stay awesome, everyone. I’ll get through this. :3