In other news, this was my follow-up appointment with Dr. Chen today in a nutshell:

DR: We’re going to need you to stay here in San Francisco a while yet. No going home early, sorry.

GERBIL: Haroo. 😦

DR: But you’re healing from your urethral reconstruction like a champ!

GERBIL: Hooray! 😀

DR: You need to keep your catheter in another week, though. Need to give that surgery site some time to recover.

GERBIL: Haroo. 😦

DR: But we can cap the end off and have you start re-teaching your bladder how to hold onto urine again! Just unplug the cap and hold it over the toilet when you need to go. Then you can gradually switch over to using your phallus!

GERBIL: Hooray! 😀

DR: That about covers it for now. Any questions for me?

GERBIL: Hoor– oh. wait. naw, I’m good.