genderqueer – Chinchilla Meat

gerbilfluff:

Wait, it’s National Coming Out Day? AWESOME!

I know a lot of folks are confused about what the heck I’m doing by now, if the reactions to me wearing dresses again were any indication, so this is a perfect time to clear some things up.

Hi! I’m Jonathan. Also known as Hyde, to my family. *Also* also known as Gerbil, to my friends and the Internet.

I am a trans nonbinary person. I was raised as a girl, decided that wasn’t working out so great for me, tried being a guy for about a decade (including having phalloplasty, where I specifically asked to keep my original plumbing as well– which, as the surgeons found out with me, is now a thing they can do!!) and then gave up on guyhood as well, because “nonbinary” ended up fitting me WAY better as a gender.

This is a recent change: ANY pronouns are fine for you to use. “They” is my personal favorite, followed by “he,” but I won’t turn up my nose at “she” anymore, either. I know not many folks can say this, but, speaking only for myself: pronouns have no power over me anymore. (Which is pretty awesome, I won’t lie.)

I want to thank you all for bearing with me on my journey, and treating me with such overwhelming kindness, respect, and love. Because I have to admit, it’s been confusing at times, even for me, haha. X3

Figured this would be helpful here, too. Thanks, everybody! 😀

It’s a bird! It’s a plane! No, it’s SuperGenderQueer!

A little after two years since I started this blog, I visited a nudist colony one weekend. Caused a bit of confusion among the folks there, as could perhaps be expected, but a friend snapped a photo while I was wearing a rainbow flag as a cape (as you do), and I thought, there it is. No catheter bag, body the way I finally want it– this is my victory pose.

Under the cut, and minimally censored just for safety’s sake, but here I am, past my own personal finish line. It’s so awesome here, y’all. Thank you for helping me along the way to getting here, and I hope you can join me soon, whatever your paths may be.

(and apology to any mobile users who don’t get a choice in seeing my pasty self splayed across their screen, haha)

My superpower is making everybody who sees me a little more queer. And I love it.

Random food for thought: Both.

And suddenly, as I showed him the phone photo of my junk, the guy at the anime convention who’d been hitting on me for the past half hour paused.

“That’s… *that’s* your dick?” he asked, looking confusedly at the screen.

I nodded. “And my vagina.”

He snickered. “Can’t believe I’m saying this, but… you’re too freaky for me.”

“Tch. Your loss,” I sneered back at him.

We went our own ways into the night.

It’s interesting. I haven’t had many self-proclaimed drag queens show interest in me until this last weekend’s convention, but if the question ever comes up, I find cis and trans folks tend to react along the same lines if they hear I’ve got both parts.

The trans people tend to raise an eyebrow. I get a lot of “Why would you DO that?” Why would I go as far as most trans guys’ hopes and dreams could take them, and then stop halfway, keeping my factory original parts? It’s the same question I got from every phalloplasty surgeon I saw before I met with Dr. Crane. It’s expected that everyone will want the same thing. A surgery, then B surgery, then C, then D. As far from the side of the fence I was plunked onto as humanly possible.

(Heck, one trans guy I talked to once was upset with me for not transitioning to be a “full” man. Called me a traitor. [shrug] To each their own.)

The cis folks who hear I’m packing double have a different, but no less predictable, response. From young dudebro guys to little old ladies, anyone so far who’s had it come up in conversation has had the same reaction: “Have you thought about doing porn? You could make *so much money!”*

I don’t doubt it. I’d need to get clearance from my partner first, but I’d be lying if I said the thought had never crossed my mind.

Still, I met with a lot of folks at Anime Detour’s Trans Alliance and It Gets Better panels, and the response was undeniable: for some folks, A+B+C+D just isn’t going to work for their peace of mind. And though there may be only two surgeons I know of who’ll currently allow you to get, say, just B and C, not the whole package, it’s my hope that more and more doctors will acknowledge the changing tides and start looking into piecemeal physical gender reassignment.

I know what I am. And though I may check the M box every time I have to choose, my heart’s not set in only a M or F box.

My gratitude for living in a time where I could change my body to reflect exactly that is constant and ever-joyful. :3