Tag: nsfw

9 months.

So I’ve got some friends who are going through surgery at the moment, and one of the things I keep hearing from at least a couple of them is “What if it doesn’t turn out to look any good?”

I counter: Spot is *anything* but Photoshop-perfect. He’s chubby. He’s floppy. He’s still covered in scars. His head has deflated a bit by now. And you know what? I wouldn’t change a thing about him, because that’s SPOT, as I know him, and I’ve grown to love him so, so much.

Could do without the random uncontrollable urination bombs Spot drops on me every once in a while, but thankfully I’m seeing a Dr. Elliot at the University of Minnesota who can hopefully put those to rest, or at least explain them, on the 21st of this month.

Holy smokes! Did I seriously forget Spot’s 8-month anniversary by a couple days? Time sure does fly, doesn’t it?

While I’m still open to Asks, I’m not sure what else I can post to here lately that would be all that interesting. Spot’s peeing just fine; I can still come (albeit with any fluids coming directly from the factory plumbing, not the phallus); all’s right with the world.

I’ll have a 1-year retrospective in photos, to be sure, but otherwise, Spot’s been behaving himself, not counting the occasional accidental wetting.

Steady as he goes, I guess? Though feel free to drop me any messages. :3

New year, new sex toy!

Youguys, I’d been waiting for this for SO LONG. I had the Hazel penetrable from Bad Dragon ready *months* ahead of time. I’d heard of the two-condom rule (as far as being hard enough to penetrate) if you have a phalloplasty but no rods implanted, so here’s my review.

It was… okay?

For one thing, my partner was *all for* me trying to penetrate this toy, even helping guide me inside. But even with that on my side, and with the inner condom breaking halfway through, I’m not sure if my erotic-sensation nerves have grown in enough to give me as good as a time as I could’ve yet.

Definitely felt the pressure and suction, which wasn’t bad, but mostly I felt like you would if you rubbed your fingers against the broad part of your leg. Nice, but not *sexy.*

Right now, I do not have the physical ability for this to feel great. For myself, at least. I tried penetrating with a toy, but I would *not* try this with a living partner, given my results at six months in, unless you’re willing to have a lot less fun than whoever’s on the receiving end.

But, fingers crossed that more erotic nerves grow in for 2016. Who knows? :3

Day 7 of being stricture-free.

Who needs more dogshaming photos? Bring on the dickshaming!

Spot’s been a naughty one these past couple days. Even with a catheter in, this dong is so ready to be used again, I’ve had a full urine flow three times now, at random!

…Only once in an actual toilet.

The hotel housekeeping here’s starting to know me on a first-name basis, and I’m not sure how I feel about that.

Month 4 ½-ish.

Movin’ slow this past week.

I’m in diapers again. For some reason, Spot has started leaking short, heavy bursts of the most foul-smelling urine, despite my already having a catheter in. At random. All through the day. Through the urethral stricture that’s already there, so whenever it happens, as urine is actually coming out, I am in UPPERCASE amounts of pain. The catheter opening’s been starting to leak tiny amounts of blood, too.

I’ve been told by my surgeon’s staff that this is something that can happen when a catheter’s in for a long time, and that I need to get my tube changed. Fair enough; it HAS been in for five weeks, and there’s still four weeks until my Final Boss Battle Surgery to get my urethra fixed from the mess of scar tissue it is now.

However, I just got told my usual doctor isn’t authorized to do this. I thought she was. Really should’ve double-checked on that, in hindsight. So, come Monday, it’s time for me to go re-catheterization shopping. And to have very little idea what’s going on with my crotch until then, other than that it’s drippy and smells awful.

I’ve been asked by two people now whether I regret having phalloplasty, and my response is a DEFINITE no. Not even through the complications I’ve been having. The humiliation of having to rush home from work to change my soaked pants. Or of being back in diapers. Or the pain. It’s still all been worth it. I recognize these are temporary problems, and can’t wait to finally write my name in the snow come winter. (I’m thinking cursive.)

It’s just… it’s been really, really hard this week. But, I promised to give my whole personal story when I started this blog, and if pain and uncertainty are temporary stopping points at the moment– even if most people going through phalloplasty will never have this happen, and I’m glad about that– I’m not going to hide this part, either.

Also, wanted to make sure to get a shot of under Spot’s head, ‘cause if nothing else, the area *around* the urethral opening’s been healing up like a charm. :3

I wish I was Tumblr-savvy enough to know how to reply to multiple Anons at the same time on my phone, but these pics are for the two of you who wanted proof that I’m “dual-wielding” as far as genitalia.

(Also, for the Anon who phrased it like that, I’m pointing and yelling NERRRRD at you as much as I can for my own self getting the reference in the first place.) :3