Does down there feel a lot different than before?

I hope I’m answering your question the way you intended, Anon, ‘cause the wording was a little vague. No worries, though– feel free to send another Ask if you meant something different than how I answer, yeah? :3

As far as feeling goes, I definitely *am* feeling my phallus as an honest-to-Pete part of my body by now, nearly one year in. When I’m cold, the skin of my dong is a little chilly as well. When I’m aroused, the same blood rush happens in both what little still remains of my vulva AND, *finally,* through my penis– even if what I feel in my penis is admittedly more muted, and nothing gets hard because I haven’t had anything surgically implanted inside of it to help it do so. (That’s an option that’s open to me by now, but I personally haven’t taken it.)

As far as how “down there” feels to the rest of my body, I can only describe it as “heavy and floppy enough to notice against my leg when I’m moving any faster than walking.” If I’m wearing boxer briefs, there’s much less flopping around involved, but boxers are much more comfortable for me since the phalloplasty, so… flopping happens, haha.

Hey you don’t have to answer if you don’t want to but – when you masturbate does cum come out of the phallo or not?

No prob! Any questions folks have for me are valid ones, as far as I’m concerned– just so long as you know that if you ask anyone else *besides* me, they’re well within their rights not to answer. I’m just kind of a blabbermouth. :3

I still cum, but so far, the fluid’s still all coming from my vagina. All that’s passed through Spot has been urine.

I do know *of* one or two folks who claim they can squirt from their phalloplasty dongs, but they’re definitely the rare exception, not the rule.

How long will you have your catheter in for?

Believe me, Anon, I’ve been counting the days, and it’s gonna be another 19 sleeps before Dr. Elliott at the University of Minnesota puts me under for the first of a two-stage urethroplasty on June 15th.

The bad news: I won’t be able to pee standing up for a minimum of six months while the new urethra’s healing.

The GOOD news: This is the capital-letters Last Surgery I’ll be having, to fully replace the scar tissue zone that’s kept regrowing this past year– right where my old urethra joined with the one my phalloplasty last June set in place.

(I want to mention it again: having as many complications as I’m getting with Spot is RARE. if you’re having phalloplasty, you very well might get *a* stricture– the rate floats around 30% overall, so I hear– but I’ve heard of very few other cases where it’s been this much of a completely-closing-up fight.

When I started this blog, I didn’t foresee I’d be reporting so many troubles, but I’d hate to scare away folks who would really benefit from this surgery just because I’ve been caught with the short end of the stick.)

So I’m having lunch with a friend yesterday, who surprises me with… a clown nose.

“Oh, right! For that one charity,” I remark. “Sorry, but I’m not sure if I’ll wear it. Not really into clown noses…”

“Pff,” she replies, waving the idea away with her hand. “I didn’t get it for YOU. I got it for SPOT.”

And this, lovely followers, is why I have the *best* friends. :3

Phalloplasty for Kids, 101

gerbilfluff:

Little kid’s standing in front of me in the returns line today. His eyes go huge, all of a sudden. “What *happened?!*” he whispers to me, pointing at my arm in horror.

“Oh, that was actually a good thing!” I say, lapsing into my standard answer. “They took the skin from there to fix another part that hadn’t worked right since I was a kid.”

He shakes his head. “Maaaan. I wish I had a scar like yours. Nobody’d ever try messing with me ever again!” >:U

Round 1… FIGHT!

Back from Stage One of the three surgeries that’ll be reconstructing my urethra where it’s been growing and regrowing The Stricture From Hell. Resting comfy.

This part was the simplest: just a suprapubic catheter placement, plus a cystoscopy where Dr. Elliott threaded in a teeny camera to map out the area he’ll be operating on June 15th.

Kiiiinda loopy like whoa on painkillers right now.

My mellowness levels are off the charts right now~

Hey Gerbil! I was just wondering if your size has changed much over the last few months. I ended up smaller than I wanted and my surgeon said most guys grow a little with time so I was wondering if that’s been true for you.

It has changed, a little! I started out a month after the initial phalloplasty at just over 5 inches. That calmed down to 4.5" by the six-month mark, though time and natural gravity hang have brought it to juuuust a tiny bit longer than that after 11 months. (Every bit on that ruler counts some days, haha.)

The biggest physical change for me so far has actually been on the head. Though the urethral slit looks absolutely perfect, evenly settled in the bottom center, the underside of the glans itself has… I don’t have any other word for it than “flattened” slightly over the first year, from initially being domelike/rounded all over.

This kind of head-flattening occasionally happens with some dongs, I hear, though I wouldn’t say it’s striking enough for anyone else to notice but me, knowing what it looked like at the start.

MY UROLOGIST FINALLY CALLED BACK, YAAAAASSSS

Turns out Dr. Elliott *wasn’t* dragging his feet the whole 2 ½ months I was waiting to hear back from him; he was deliberating. I’d been told I had two options to get rid of my scar tissue problems: daily sounding (or to be more medically precise, “manual dilation”) I’d be doing by myself, or a surgery in 2 steps, 6 months apart.

As it happens, he apologized for first saying I had two options when, after conferring with Dr. Crane, he said the manual dilation option would’ve been a horrible idea. With as severe as my scarring’s been, I’d only have to mess up the routine *once* from simple inexperience, and I could wreck Spot completely. This was *not* the kind of thing he wanted to be hanging over my head for all time.

The prep surgery, however, has already been set up for this coming Friday the 13th. (That’s probably fine.) So… score!