Chinchilla Meat

Aaaa, thank YOU so much for making my entire week with this message, no foolin’! This is exactly why I made this blog– to let others who think there’s no chance know that this is a thing that CAN be done. There’s room for folks like us in this world, too! 😀

It’s a rough journey, but I wish you the best of luck on your path. And if there’s any help I can provide along the way, feel free to let me know!

Sure thing, Anon! Though I’m not sure I’m gonna be much help with this particular issue– my own phallus was built anchored around my original clitoris, not placed above/below it so the clitoris is still able to be touched directly. That way was explained to me by Dr. Crane as an option I could take, and it was one I declined.

For me, “burying” the clitoris, as I hear the method they used for Spot is called, was far more beneficial to me personally. My clitoris was a real uppity so-and-so, oversensitive to the point of pain if touched directly, so an added benefit of burying it was that I no longer feel that discomfort. But I can definitely see where some folks would want the option to touch it still open to them, seeing how it’s one of the most guaranteed pleasure spots a human body is capable of producing.

And I do have to admit, the sensation I feel around where my clitoris used to be has been significantly muted after phalloplasty, due to all the skin being around it now. I’m still able to orgasm the same way I did before phallo (slow rubbing friction against blankets and such), but I sympathize with folks not wanting to take the chance of having their methods change that drastically.

It all comes down to personal preference, even down to how you prefer to reach an orgasm– an option I’m happy to see taken seriously by the phalloplasty surgeons I’ve met. :3

Thanks for being so patient with me, Anon! I know this was sent to me a while ago, but I wanted to take some time and check up on how sensation’s going in general, erotic and not, two years and some change after the initial phalloplasty later. I’ve got photos! 😀

Overall, I’m happy to report that “touch” sensation– the feeling I get when I’m running fingers down Spot, or squeezing him, including pain if I ever squeeze too hard– is everywhere by this point, with only one exception which I’ll get to. Heat and cold sensation took a while longer to develop, I noticed, with erotic sensation after that, taking about a year to fully knit together, and not really spreading much farther from where it initially came back.

The erotic sensation I have is almost entirely along the bottom edge and towards the base, with some faint happy twinges if rubbed along the upper ridge of the head (which surprised me! I wasn’t expecting to get anything back up there). The closer to the base of Spot you get, the stronger the pleasured feelings. The original clitoris my surgeons built Spot around is in there, deep inside the base, you can tell, yet it can’t be reached directly anymore through all that new dong skin. Which is personally a plus for me, seeing how mine used to be so oversensitive that it hurt to touch. I much prefer the more muted feeling that rubbing Spot has now– it may not be fireworks going off, but it feels reeeaaally good once it gets going.

Here’s another pic mapping heat and cold sensation:

The sensation stopping at the tip is weird, sure, but not altogether unexpected, when you consider it’s so close to the numb zone right at the tip, as seen here:

That one little circlet of skin right at the urethral opening sadly never got anything back. I can sense when pee’s going through it, of course, but that’s about it.

Still, when the rest of the results turned out as well as they did, I’m not gonna complain too much about the one part that didn’t turn out.

Hope this was enlightening, Anon! I had fun with it. :3

Y’know, Anon, I’ve met so, so many different awesome folks of all gender flavors since starting this blog… I have no doubt that, whatever they’d prefer to call themselves, people who want that particular equipment and gender presentation exist already, and it’s only technology and availability that would need to catch up.

Speaking for myself, my phalloplasty made me confront my non-binary identity once and for all. My body no longer fits into an easy “male” or “female” categorization, and since phalloplasty, I’ve found I’ve lost the desire to try doing so.

Which was a shock when I realized it, believe me! There were years where I did nothing but strive to be the Manliest Man™ I could be without testosterone’s help. But there I was, resting in my post-phallo hospital bed, when the nurse asked conversationally whether I had any other surgeries planned, and suddenly I *knew,* deep down inside, that this was it– my body was complete.

Nowadays, when folks ask me, “which box do you check?” the answer’s still easy. My personality has always aligned with what society seems to see as “feminine male,” so if I have to pick one or the other, I check the M box, and have changed my IDs to reflect this.

Still, I yearn for a day when people won’t need surgery to have to “prove” to the world what they “really” are based on genitalia, or even that they have to pick only one box in the first place.

All I can do in the meantime is be the most authentic Me I can be, to show the world being something other than one binary gender *can* be done– look, I’m doing it right now!– and phalloplasty’s helped me do just that. :3

Just a quick mention, before I answer this one: a particular question may well be considered rude by most trans folks– I can’t speak for anyone but myself, and everyone’s entitled to what they may or may not feel comfortable answering– but I myself don’t mind even the embarrassing ones. I like to think of this blog as like a safe space for any and all questions folks may have. It is nigh-impossible to offend me, so ask away! :3

My answer may not sound like a super positive one this time, either, but I want readers to get the truth from this blog wherever I can manage it.

Short answer: No, I don’t usually pass as male to strangers.

Long answer: Without T and top surgery, just a binder and short hair, I don’t usually pass, because most social occasions involve wearing pants, and aside from some major scarring from the phalloplasty, my body hasn’t really changed much at all from back when I was in full-time Lady Mode over ten years ago. Weight mostly distributes along my thighs, and if I don’t bind, I get absolutely nothing but “ma’am"s.

Thing is, after having phalloplasty, I’ve found I no longer *care* if I pass or not. Which is a HUGE change, and I never thought it would happen so drastically after just one surgery, but it’s totally true! "She"s and "Ma’am"s bounce off my unharmed self-confidence like Teflon now as I pipe up, "Ah, it’s ‘he,’ actually” (or “they,” if I figure I’m in an environment where folks will recognize what “nonbinary” is) and it’s AMAZING.

Oh, and one exception. Guys don’t question me once they see me using a urinal. I’ve gotten the occasional surprised look there, but nothing more. Other guys usually don’t like making eye contact in a bathroom anyhow, which works in my favor.

I *should* note I’m saying this from a relatively privileged position, because I work in an odd-hours office job where everybody knows me– not, say, retail, or public transit, where people can be a lot harsher to strangers that don’t pass.

I’ve heard that it takes multiple “female” characteristics before your average stranger will ignore a single “male” cue, so I tend to wear clothes that help push me over to the “male” side at first glance, like non-flowery hats and hoodies, and use more masculine body language (not crossing my legs when sitting, giving a quick head-nod to other guys I pass on the street or hall).

I’ve also come to appreciate the importance of friends/co-workers introducing me to new people if possible, because being introduced as a guy by somebody else can be a big credibility boost. I have to hand it to one of my friends for having the idea to quickly dismiss any “I thought you were a…” with a shrug and “Oh, yeah, he gets that a lot.” It acknowledges how femme I look, while waving it away as not a concern.

The most interesting reaction I’ve found is when a group of men and women first see me, and each of them judge me to be whatever they themselves are. It’s like they read me as whatever gender they’re most comfortable with. This has led to some amusing (to me) conversations where one person’s calling me “he” and another’s calling me “she” all throughout the conversation, and neither seem to notice any difference.

I know you are, but what am I! :3

No, but seriously, thank you so much for the kind words! I’ll be chillin’ over here doin’ my thing, rest assured– with an outside that match my inside now, and everything. You have yourself a great day!

Oh, sure! The option’s still open to me to get an elation rod implanted if I want it. I’ve just personally been through more than enough surgeries already, thanks to my stricture complications, that I don’t think it would be worth the time/money/risk to take that plunge again. I’m happy where I’m at. :3

The fact that I *could* if I wanted to is a little mind-blowing to me by itself, though, ‘cause back when I was first researching phallo techniques only a few short years ago, you didn’t have that choice. You could either have urethral lengthing so you could pee standing up, OR you could get an elator rod and get hard. Pick one.

Nowadays, you can totally get both, even while keeping the vaginal area intact! It depends on the individual GRS surgeon and what they’re willing to do, of course, but the options are at least THERE. Which is a magical thing.

Woo! Thanks for the compliments! (And hi, anyone else here from Reddit! I didn’t know I was getting any traffic from there, that’s awesome.) 😀

Though Spot is pretty dang stretchable, the phallus isn’t actually hollow. As it was explained to me, the skin graft from my arm was rolled around and around into a tube shape before being attached, with the original clitoris buried within the base of that tube of skin. So it’s all meat, in there.

It’s more complicated than that, of course– I’m not even getting into the blood vessel/nerve grafts involved. But there’s definitely a thickness to Spot when I have him in my hand.