Tag: phalloplasty

In other news, this was my follow-up appointment with Dr. Chen today in a nutshell:

DR: We’re going to need you to stay here in San Francisco a while yet. No going home early, sorry.

GERBIL: Haroo. 😦

DR: But you’re healing from your urethral reconstruction like a champ!

GERBIL: Hooray! 😀

DR: You need to keep your catheter in another week, though. Need to give that surgery site some time to recover.

GERBIL: Haroo. 😦

DR: But we can cap the end off and have you start re-teaching your bladder how to hold onto urine again! Just unplug the cap and hold it over the toilet when you need to go. Then you can gradually switch over to using your phallus!

GERBIL: Hooray! 😀

DR: That about covers it for now. Any questions for me?

GERBIL: Hoor– oh. wait. naw, I’m good.

Day 7 of being stricture-free.

Who needs more dogshaming photos? Bring on the dickshaming!

Spot’s been a naughty one these past couple days. Even with a catheter in, this dong is so ready to be used again, I’ve had a full urine flow three times now, at random!

…Only once in an actual toilet.

The hotel housekeeping here’s starting to know me on a first-name basis, and I’m not sure how I feel about that.

SUCCESS!

Out from the surgery with Dr. Crane to fix my urethral stricture and feelin’ surprisingly fine/lucid, if a bit sore around the area involved.

The scar tissue stricture was super dense, but short– enough to sew together the ends of the urethra without even needing to harvest any tissue from the inside of my mouth to connect any gap. Turned out to be a best case scenario. Finally! I could use one of those by now. :3

For Worried Anon!

I realize my last answer was a little vague numbers-wise, so to give some perspective of how rare the troubles I’m having really are, I offer this:

When I had phalloplasty, Dr. Crane and his team had done about 150 phalloplasties already.

So far, how many of those patients have had scar-tissue strictures like mine, *including* me?

3.

Those kind of odds are what I meant by “improbable.” So know what’s *possible* when you’re going in, sure– but honestly, I wouldn’t worry *too* much.

Month 4 ½-ish.

Movin’ slow this past week.

I’m in diapers again. For some reason, Spot has started leaking short, heavy bursts of the most foul-smelling urine, despite my already having a catheter in. At random. All through the day. Through the urethral stricture that’s already there, so whenever it happens, as urine is actually coming out, I am in UPPERCASE amounts of pain. The catheter opening’s been starting to leak tiny amounts of blood, too.

I’ve been told by my surgeon’s staff that this is something that can happen when a catheter’s in for a long time, and that I need to get my tube changed. Fair enough; it HAS been in for five weeks, and there’s still four weeks until my Final Boss Battle Surgery to get my urethra fixed from the mess of scar tissue it is now.

However, I just got told my usual doctor isn’t authorized to do this. I thought she was. Really should’ve double-checked on that, in hindsight. So, come Monday, it’s time for me to go re-catheterization shopping. And to have very little idea what’s going on with my crotch until then, other than that it’s drippy and smells awful.

I’ve been asked by two people now whether I regret having phalloplasty, and my response is a DEFINITE no. Not even through the complications I’ve been having. The humiliation of having to rush home from work to change my soaked pants. Or of being back in diapers. Or the pain. It’s still all been worth it. I recognize these are temporary problems, and can’t wait to finally write my name in the snow come winter. (I’m thinking cursive.)

It’s just… it’s been really, really hard this week. But, I promised to give my whole personal story when I started this blog, and if pain and uncertainty are temporary stopping points at the moment– even if most people going through phalloplasty will never have this happen, and I’m glad about that– I’m not going to hide this part, either.

Also, wanted to make sure to get a shot of under Spot’s head, ‘cause if nothing else, the area *around* the urethral opening’s been healing up like a charm. :3

Month 4. (Easier than going day by day, at this point.)

I wanted to bring up an important point for any of you who’re eventually going to go through phalloplasty, and that’s that it took me *four days* to muster up the courage to take this pic of my suprapubic catheter’s entry site.

Thankfully, nothing was infected when I finally looked at it, but it makes me realize the truth of something Dr. Crane and his staff told me: You *have.* To look. At your surgery site. To keep yourself healthy post-surgery. Buy a hand mirror. Use the reflection off whichever bathroom or bedroom mirror can reach down there. Just look at it SOMEHOW.

‘Cause I get it. For most of us, looking at our junk is something we’ve trained ourselves NOT to do, right? Out of sight, out of mind.

But this could’ve gone *so* much more badly than it did. All I had to go by was an awful smell coming from the catheter site. Does that mean it’s infected? No. Should I have checked to make sure a lot sooner than I did? YES.

Please. Don’t take that kind of head-in-the-sand chance with your health, any of you.

Day 113.

Sorry for not having many updates since my last trip to San Francisco. I *could* upload the video of me trying to piss through a stricture (with accompanying groans of pain) if anybody’d be interested, but lately, I’ve just been waiting on a surgery date for a urethral reconstruction, seeing how my original urethra’s a tad choked up by scar tissue right now.

About once a day, my penis will gush a mystery fluid that’s probably some kind of urine. I don’t even know what’s in the fluid, nor do I question it anymore. I’ve been referring to my mindset lately as “Cronenberg Zen.”

Oh, and if anybody’s wondering? I still stand behind this surgery 100%. I have been *happy,* no matter how messed-up it may be to have to carry a catheter bag everywhere (inside my stylish messenger bag from BlueRobotto of Etsy.com). Before, where every “ma’am” would be like a screwdriver jabbed in my heart, now, I’m able to shrug these comments off with a simple “they just don’t know what I *really* am.” Having fleshy proof of same is something I’d never want to give up, no matter how many problems it might be giving me in particular.

Stay awesome, everyone. I’ll get through this. :3

Post-op, part II.

Okay so WOW am I glad I didn’t wait on this follow-up surgery any longer than I did. The scar tissue buildup was, in the surgeon’s words, “a wall. No wonder you were having so much trouble!”

I’ll reiterate: this is not normally something that happens. A stricture *can* happen a few months out from phalloplasty, but for anyone worried this’ll happen to them, I wouldn’t. When my body *in particular* wants to heal something, it does NOT mess around.

Turns out I get a third and final round left I’ll need to schedule within the next two months or so. Then the surgery team can go in directly and deal with the bit that’s scarring up, so the scar tissue won’t just keep slamming the urethra with every new removal. I’m admittedly a little iffy on the details for how they’re going to do this, but you can bet I’ll have a bunch of questions for Dr. Crane tomorrow.

I’m not worried; I’m in good hands. Already feeling tons better after the surgery, and from having a suprapubic catheter put in for now.

I’ll keep everyone posted. Had no idea I was going to have this much content for the blog, haha!