Chinchilla Meat

Aaaa, thanks so much for the kind words! 😀

I’m happy to report, my wrist is 100% functional again, after a few months of PT exercises! Though it bears mentioning– I did *not* remember to do the exercise that would’ve forced the lymph fluids caught in my hand back down past my arm scar (IE, smoothing the other hand down along the hand I had the skin taken from, from the base of the fingers to the wrist, very slowly and firmly, a few times a day), and because of that, my hands are literally two different sizes now. It’s a subtle difference, but noticeable.

Pay attention to what your PT doc tells you to do *and do it,* is the takeaway lesson here! Otherwise, you might have to buy two sizes every time you get a new pair of gloves, like me.

As for the front hole (or “the Warp Zone,” as I call it, after the hidden passages in the first Mario game): *also* happy to report, that’s still working fine as well! I took about half a year off from using it after phallo, but there was little to no change functionally after that time, besides one change of note. The inner and outer labia were both removed to be used as the new urethra’s skin, so there’s no wiggle room anymore between “there’s something outside my body” and “WHOA there it is, right inside already.”

That’s a really good question, Anon! I wish I had a more concrete answer for you– I made it clear from the get-go that I wasn’t interested in a scrotoplasty, and was met with a response of “Okay, good! Because that could get tricky.” I never heard that it *couldn’t* be done, just that it would possibly come with higher complication rates.

This was three years ago, too– I wouldn’t be surprised if several folks *have* had a scrotoplasty with no vaginectomy by now. I suppose only setting up a consultation with your pick for a surgery team would have a definite yes or no answer for you. Sorry I couldn’t be of more help, this time!

Yup, I still do naturally, though for the past few years, I’ve set aside the money in my budget to get a Depo-Provera shot every few months. That stops my periods, and has taken care of my birth control worries as well.

That said, I don’t personally experience dysphoria from having periods– it’s just worth it to me to avoid the mess. (That, and you don’t see too many tampon disposal boxes in public men’s rooms.)

Oh my gosh, Anon, that *sucks,* I’m so sorry to hear it! And so close to the go-time date, too. I know how long wait times for surgery can be, but having to start waiting *again*…

I’m careful never to say “I know exactly how you feel,” but I’ll say this much: there was a time, right after I visited London, when [REDACTED]’s team had turned me down, when I looked around at how far I’d come– the five years I spent saving and planning– and *still* they’d said no? I felt like never getting up from that punch.

And looking back, I’m so, SO glad I didn’t give up then. I didn’t know how awesome this story would get from there!

Thank you for the compliments, and just think: there’s gonna be a time in the future when you wake up, and the whole waiting mess is gonna be in the past, like a bad dream. Let that day guide you when things seem bleak, yeah? ‘Cause you’re getting closer to it all the time. :3

Interesting that you should bring this question up right now, Anon! I’ve been informed only a couple days ago of a program at the Minnesota-local Family Tree Clinic that specifically seeks to provide HRT towards *androgyny,* not solely masculine or feminine presentation. Just goes to show– here I’ve been at this “trans” thing a good thirteen years, and I still get surprised by news like this every so often!

My primary care doctor did some research before and after I had my phalloplasty surgery done. She saw no problems with prescribing me testosterone IF I wanted to take the risk of its possibly depression-worsening side effects, and said she’d work with me if that was a path I wanted to take. In *her* research, she found no negative physical consequences for Spot if the buried clitoris/anchor of the dong enlarges via testosterone after phalloplasty.

If I go the HRT-for-androgyny route and only take tiny amounts of Androgel instead of full-dose T shots, however, that could do wonders towards soldifying my non-binary self to the outside world. It’s a very exciting prospect, one I’ll have to take a few nights to sleep on– I literally only found this out two days ago, haha.

If that’s where my travels take me next, I’ll be sure to document the results here on this blog! :3

I certainly would, though I’m friends with one who went through the “horror story” you’re probably referring to, regarding Crane. I won’t discuss anything particular to that case, as it’s not my story to tell.

I’m gonna ramble for a bit about surgery risks before I answer the meat of your question. It can be tough reconciling the hard truth that, yes, once in a blue moon, terrible things *can* happen during any surgery, especially one as intense as phalloplasty. I would recommend everyone considering phalloplasty do some soul-searching before they agree to go through with the procedure: what if I’m that unlucky one-in-a-thousand case where something goes really wrong? What then?

If you seriously don’t think you can take that risk, I would suggest metoidoplasty. Which has improved by leaps and bounds these past few years, I’ve been finding out. It doesn’t produce quite the striking results as phalloplasty does, but phalloplasty has a much longer pool of possible risks and complications tied in with it that metoidoplasty doesn’t have.

Getting Spot saved my life, I know that much to be true now. Has the surgery been worth it to me, even with two and a half years of repeated stricture complications afterwards? ABSOLUTELY.

But I can only speak for myself, and the phalloplasty surgery experience on the whole is, in a word, *harrowing.* I don’t want to scare anyone off, but realtalk here– if you’re not ready to put in loads of persistent effort towards an end result that has a small chance of turning out… not how you’d planned, then I can’t in good conscience say “Yes, phalloplasty is for you!”

WITH THAT SAID. Dr. Curtis Crane was nothing but polite and personable whenever I saw him, and really seemed to listen to my concerns and goals in having this surgery done. His staff informed me of what I’d need to do in the year before the actual surgery (losing a bit of weight, starting hair removal sessions on my donor forearm), and guided me through all the health insurance headaches that stood in my way when getting phallo. His cell phone was at the ready for emergency questions, even for the awkward 3AM “Uh, I’m bleeding from under the new head. What should I do?” (Answer: smear some Medihoney on it and call me in the morning. And it worked!)

I couldn’t have asked for a more understanding doctor, and if it wasn’t for his help, I could not have become who I am today.

I can only speak my own experience, and that was mine when it came to Dr. Crane. :3

I can still get pregnant, this is true; however, it’s been unanimous among my general care doctors I’ve seen since having phalloplasty that they would err on the side of caution and have the kiddo via C-section, just in case the new junk setup would pose any problems.

Going off my regular Depo-Provera shots and having a kid was actually something I’ve considered this past year, when a couple I’m close friends with wanted desperately to adopt a baby. After many years, they were coming up with nothing in their search for finding birth parents. Having a dick, to me personally, means I wouldn’t see myself having dysphoria even under extreme circumstances like pregnancy. I would be an awesome seahorse dad! 😀

Happy ending, too– my friends eventually found a birth mom, so my theoretical services weren’t needed after all.

No, no, this is a GREAT question, Anon! It brings up something that I hadn’t really gone into in any previous posts, and that is the weird place you can find yourself in if you haven’t had top surgery before you have phalloplasty.

The week I was in the hospital resting up from the phalloplasty itself, I want to say 90% of the staff there were terrific. No slipped pronouns, direct eye contact, no complaints here.

But there were definitely a handful of folks on the staff who just Did Not Get It, when they saw my lack of any facial hair and the breast lumps under my hospital gown. A couple times, I’d have a nurse or an orderly pop in, look at me, look at my chart, and say, “Oh. Wrong room. Sorry, miss,” only to head back in again after some clarification from other staff. One orderly wrote, in all caps, STILL HAS BREASTS! on the top edge of my hospital chart, like a warning from a horror movie, which I was personally more amused by than anything. Your mileage may vary.

But to answer your question directly, I was only in a hospital gown for the first week after phallo, then I settled into an extended stay hotel for the following month. There, even though I’d brought one along, I didn’t use my stronger Underworks binder due to my left arm being so raw at the time, but stuck with a simpler front-zip binder from GC2B, whenever I felt like venturing outside– which, I’ll be honest, the first week or two after surgery? My body was so raw and painful that the thought of going outside just to walk around seemed needlessly risky.

It’s important to rest up right after major surgery, and phalloplasty’s no exception. The upside is, I could wear whatever I felt like, or not, with the hotel shutters closed, so for at least the first week, all I wore were my bandages and the occasional blanket, with only cleaning staff coming by once a day to turn down the bedsheets. (They eyed all the ooze I left on the sheets sometimes, but trust me, cleaning folks have seen everything. They don’t judge.)

Then again, I spent my month after phalloplasty alone, which thankfully I’ve heard seems to be a rare occurrence. Pausing to point out, if any readers here find themselves stuck alone during this time, I want to let y’all know, you can message me when the nights get long! It’s rough like few other things you’ll ever have to go through, and if I can make that journey a little less lonely, I’m all for lending an ear. :3

I’ve got good news and bad news for ya, Anon.

The good news is, I have had *one* person turn me down for playing around specifically because I had phalloplasty. ONE. And granted, they were super rude about it, but one time’s easy enough to get back up and brush off from.

Also, the good people DO exist. It may be hard to believe sometimes, but they’re out there. I’ve been in a mostly-closed relationship with my partner for twelve years now, and he’s been with me through the whole deal, from “I think I want to get a phalloplasty” to “Hey, it’s been two years since I got a dong!” and everything in between.

I’ll point out that, besides my main relationship I was already in, the only experiences I’ve had are quick hookups at geek or furry conventions. I wasn’t actively looking for a long-term relationship after I’d had surgery, so your mileage may vary for the advice I’m giving.

What I *have* had to deal with are a whole boatload of folks who are only interested in me *because* of my junk– full stop. Especially not being on hormone therapy, I look super femme when I’ve got clothes on, and whenever someone finds out I’ve got both sets of working genitalia, hoo BOY do the fetishists come out.

Keep in mind, I’m kind of a blabbermouth about having had the particular surgery I have, mostly to spread the word to folks for whom it’d give hope that, yup, such a thing CAN be done. But I’ve lost track of the number of times I’ve been asked “So, wait, you’re a real-life [futa/Herm/some other porno category that marginalizes actual trans folks]?” by people who mean well, are super interested in having playtime with me, but they don’t really have any interest in ME per se, just the novelty factor. Like they could cross off some squares on a niche-sex Bingo card or something.

What I’d recommend for you is to keep the “I’ve got both” card close to your chest for two or three dates– enough to sniff out whether there’s mutual attraction to this other person, but not enough to get too attached if they turn out to be a jerk about how you’re literally the best of both worlds. If you’ve found the right person, they won’t think, “Oh, what a freak!” They’ll recognize that you have this thing about you that makes you even MORE special a person, something that opens up a bunch more possibilities in the bedroom, and like you for YOU. Your mind *and* your body.

As my partner said when I explained to him why I kept wearing a packer and *needed* it on my body whenever we fooled around, “You’re gonna have to explain some things to me. But I’m game if you are!”

TL;DR know how special you are for being you, and don’t settle for someone who thinks your qualities are things to “put up with.” And best of luck out there!