Tag: phalloplasty

MY UROLOGIST FINALLY CALLED BACK, YAAAAASSSS

Turns out Dr. Elliott *wasn’t* dragging his feet the whole 2 ½ months I was waiting to hear back from him; he was deliberating. I’d been told I had two options to get rid of my scar tissue problems: daily sounding (or to be more medically precise, “manual dilation”) I’d be doing by myself, or a surgery in 2 steps, 6 months apart.

As it happens, he apologized for first saying I had two options when, after conferring with Dr. Crane, he said the manual dilation option would’ve been a horrible idea. With as severe as my scarring’s been, I’d only have to mess up the routine *once* from simple inexperience, and I could wreck Spot completely. This was *not* the kind of thing he wanted to be hanging over my head for all time.

The prep surgery, however, has already been set up for this coming Friday the 13th. (That’s probably fine.) So… score!

Random food for thought: Both.

And suddenly, as I showed him the phone photo of my junk, the guy at the anime convention who’d been hitting on me for the past half hour paused.

“That’s… *that’s* your dick?” he asked, looking confusedly at the screen.

I nodded. “And my vagina.”

He snickered. “Can’t believe I’m saying this, but… you’re too freaky for me.”

“Tch. Your loss,” I sneered back at him.

We went our own ways into the night.

It’s interesting. I haven’t had many self-proclaimed drag queens show interest in me until this last weekend’s convention, but if the question ever comes up, I find cis and trans folks tend to react along the same lines if they hear I’ve got both parts.

The trans people tend to raise an eyebrow. I get a lot of “Why would you DO that?” Why would I go as far as most trans guys’ hopes and dreams could take them, and then stop halfway, keeping my factory original parts? It’s the same question I got from every phalloplasty surgeon I saw before I met with Dr. Crane. It’s expected that everyone will want the same thing. A surgery, then B surgery, then C, then D. As far from the side of the fence I was plunked onto as humanly possible.

(Heck, one trans guy I talked to once was upset with me for not transitioning to be a “full” man. Called me a traitor. [shrug] To each their own.)

The cis folks who hear I’m packing double have a different, but no less predictable, response. From young dudebro guys to little old ladies, anyone so far who’s had it come up in conversation has had the same reaction: “Have you thought about doing porn? You could make *so much money!”*

I don’t doubt it. I’d need to get clearance from my partner first, but I’d be lying if I said the thought had never crossed my mind.

Still, I met with a lot of folks at Anime Detour’s Trans Alliance and It Gets Better panels, and the response was undeniable: for some folks, A+B+C+D just isn’t going to work for their peace of mind. And though there may be only two surgeons I know of who’ll currently allow you to get, say, just B and C, not the whole package, it’s my hope that more and more doctors will acknowledge the changing tides and start looking into piecemeal physical gender reassignment.

I know what I am. And though I may check the M box every time I have to choose, my heart’s not set in only a M or F box.

My gratitude for living in a time where I could change my body to reflect exactly that is constant and ever-joyful. :3

Just so everybody’s on the same page:

I don’t know when it’ll start showing up, but there’s going to be a lot of sounding photos on this blog as I document my stricture treatment soon. If you’re not cool with that, no harm no foul, but you might want to unfollow me now if you’re squicked by that.

And just to reiterate: this is NOT what usually comes along with a phalloplasty. I really REALLY don’t want to shy anyone away from the procedure just because *my* immune system *in particular* doesn’t know how to handle new tissue. I’m just documenting my own experience, good and bad, however rare it might be.

NOW PLAYING in a certain phallo blogger’s insides– it’s “Stricture 2: This Shit Again”!

Remember that urologist appointment I mentioned having today? Well, I finally got an answer to why I’d still been on-and-off incontinent since the stricture removal in December, and the reason’s simple: The same scar tissue buildup (or “stricture”) that was making me incontinent back then is growing back in the exact same place.

The first surgery wasn’t a *total* loss– the stricture’s growing way, way slower this time. That explains why peeing hasn’t hurt, for now. But you see that squeezed-off pinchy bit in the x-ray? It’s gonna *start* hurting again, just like last time, if I don’t take action fairly soon.

I’ve got two options. Now that my docs know the scar tissue will just keep growing back in the same place if it’s scraped clear, I can either:

1.) agree to *another* surgery (done locally, this time; that part’s nice) that’ll take skin from the inside of my mouth and roll it into a whole new section of urethra, during which I’ll have to sit down to pee for at least 6 months while the new buccal-made urethra proves itself viable against the skin already there or not, with an estimated 70% success rate, OR…

2.) I can pass on the surgery, and instead insert what’s basically a sounding rod all the way through my penis, to bust up any new scar tissue as it regrows. Every day. Until… forever.

[head in hands, sighing] Y’know? I’m not happy about the choices I have to pick from, but *knowing* that something super rare and bad is happening is better to me than having to toss up my hands and shrug every time I’d lose bladder control. I’ll take a scary, concrete opponent to a mystery any day.

9 months.

So I’ve got some friends who are going through surgery at the moment, and one of the things I keep hearing from at least a couple of them is “What if it doesn’t turn out to look any good?”

I counter: Spot is *anything* but Photoshop-perfect. He’s chubby. He’s floppy. He’s still covered in scars. His head has deflated a bit by now. And you know what? I wouldn’t change a thing about him, because that’s SPOT, as I know him, and I’ve grown to love him so, so much.

Could do without the random uncontrollable urination bombs Spot drops on me every once in a while, but thankfully I’m seeing a Dr. Elliot at the University of Minnesota who can hopefully put those to rest, or at least explain them, on the 21st of this month.

Holy smokes! Did I seriously forget Spot’s 8-month anniversary by a couple days? Time sure does fly, doesn’t it?

While I’m still open to Asks, I’m not sure what else I can post to here lately that would be all that interesting. Spot’s peeing just fine; I can still come (albeit with any fluids coming directly from the factory plumbing, not the phallus); all’s right with the world.

I’ll have a 1-year retrospective in photos, to be sure, but otherwise, Spot’s been behaving himself, not counting the occasional accidental wetting.

Steady as he goes, I guess? Though feel free to drop me any messages. :3

New year, new sex toy!

Youguys, I’d been waiting for this for SO LONG. I had the Hazel penetrable from Bad Dragon ready *months* ahead of time. I’d heard of the two-condom rule (as far as being hard enough to penetrate) if you have a phalloplasty but no rods implanted, so here’s my review.

It was… okay?

For one thing, my partner was *all for* me trying to penetrate this toy, even helping guide me inside. But even with that on my side, and with the inner condom breaking halfway through, I’m not sure if my erotic-sensation nerves have grown in enough to give me as good as a time as I could’ve yet.

Definitely felt the pressure and suction, which wasn’t bad, but mostly I felt like you would if you rubbed your fingers against the broad part of your leg. Nice, but not *sexy.*

Right now, I do not have the physical ability for this to feel great. For myself, at least. I tried penetrating with a toy, but I would *not* try this with a living partner, given my results at six months in, unless you’re willing to have a lot less fun than whoever’s on the receiving end.

But, fingers crossed that more erotic nerves grow in for 2016. Who knows? :3

For Worried Anon!

thatsnotrebellion:

chinchilla-meat:

I realize my last answer was a little vague numbers-wise, so to give some perspective of how rare the troubles I’m having really are, I offer this:

When I had phalloplasty, Dr. Crane and his team had done about 150 phalloplasties already.

So far, how many of those patients have had scar-tissue strictures like mine, *including* me?

3.

Those kind of odds are what I meant by “improbable.” So know what’s *possible* when you’re going in, sure– but honestly, I wouldn’t worry *too* much.

I’m curious where you got that number from, and was I included in it?

It might’ve been! The specific number I was referring to wasn’t of the number of strictures that had happened from Crane’s surgeries, but the cases that were so severe that the patient couldn’t pee through it whatsoever. (The scar tissue taken out of me during my stricture-fixing surgery was described as “like a cork.”) If that’s what happened to you, I do sympathize.

For the record, I’m glad I asked Dr. Chen about this when I was having my last follow-up visit in San Francisco. He said that the number of patients having strictures occur after their phalloplasty was still holding consistent at around fifteen to twenty per cent– slightly lower for forearm skin donors, slightly higher if they took your skin from the thigh.

Lesson learned: I wouldn’t *count* on a stricture happening, but if it’s at all possible, I’d budget for airfare and a hotel stay for a possible second trip to San Francisco just in case. One hopes you won’t have to take it, of course, but if you happen to be one of those “lucky” 15-20%, it won’t shatter your bank account, either.